The Fourth Cave Cup

From the golf capital of the world to the basketball capital of the world, The Cavers in 2018 embarked on their longest road trip yet, traveling to the Hoosier state and the home town of Larry Legend himself- French Lick, Indiana. The Fourth Cave Cup was hosted by French Lick Resort’s Donald Ross course and The French Lick Casino. With the Black Squad coming off back-to-back wins in Michigan, Red Squad was out for blood. Red captains pick, Taylor Dee, and Black captains’ picks, Garret Vanhal “GVH” and Kevin Brannan “KB”, were all appearing in their first Cave Cup. The Cavers were in for their biggest test yet with a Ross course that boasted 80 deep-faced bunkers and extreme undulating greens.

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Numerous questions were posed in the summer of 2018 leading up to The Cup...

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• Will the Cactus be able to maintain his exceptional cup record, or will his recent equipment change come back to bite him?

• Will Max make it down to French Lick or will his flight be delayed? Will he even see this email? Will half of the people this goes to see the email?

• How will MT manage the climate differences and lingering injuries that have plagued him all off season?

• Can Joe Houli recover from his hiatus or will we see a different player come next week?

• Will Spieth's season long woes be on the forefront of Penders’ mind at The Cup?

• Will Shen be feeling the first tee jitters after a last minute bail from last year's cup?

• Is Taylor Dee shaken by the possibility of facing his former college teammate in Sunday singles?

• Will Toes and Max be taking a Greyhound bus home after dumping a meaningful amount of their net worth into the French Lick Casino?

• Will Toes remember he lives in Tampa after another traumatic bee sting coma?

• What is the over/under on combined Truesdale ankle braces by Sunday?

• Did Krull make the 8ft birdie putt from the water, recently posted on snapchat? Did he fluff his lie in the water?

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Red got off to a hot start in the morning scrambles with JHouli and Nash taking down STrues and KB in a 4&3 victory to set the tone, led by Nash’s wedge play which was nothing short of exquisite. Other Red Squad wins in the morning, both ending prior to the 16th hole, came from teams of MTrues & Max (5&4) over Toes and PHall, and Chex & AHall (3&2) over Cactus and Tiger. MKrull and GVH secured a point for black over Marconi & Shen in a tight match to stop the bleeding, and Black Squad captain JWallace & partner PHouli ended the morning with a 4&3 victory over Red Squad captain Penders & his captain’s pick TDee. The captains were off to the clubhouse to determine afternoon pairings over a club sandwich and a vodka lemmo.

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Following the eagerly anticipated pairing announcements, the afternoon matches commenced with a heavyweight clash that saw Chex & Mtrues facing off against Tiger & STrues, a showdown that went the distance and ended in a much needed halve for the Black Squad. Shen and AHall secured a resounding (5&4) victory over Marx and KB, further fueling the growing momentum for the Red Squad and cementing the Callaway Chrome Soft’s red “soccer ball” as a Red Squad staple for years to come. Whispers of the unfolding events spread across the course, and tensions were high. Pends (and JHouli) got his revenge on Jwal (and PHouli) with a 2-up win, contributing another crucial point to the red team's tally. Black managed to claw back 2 more points by the end of Saturday. GVH and Phall sealed the deal against Max and TDee on the 16th green, while Krull and Toes took a point, shaking hands with Nash and Pauly on the 14th.

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As the curtains fell on Saturday, Red held a 5.5-4.5 lead, setting the stage for an exciting Sunday. However, the night's shenanigans proved to be too much for one intrepid Caver, casting a shadow over the Red team's prospects for the following day.

 

Has this ever happened to you? You weigh 130 pounds soaking wet and start drinking at six o’clock in the morning, all through the day and into the wee hours of the night? Then you get so drunk that you decide that it’s a good idea to pop an Adderall at three o’clock the next morning and head to the casino? Then you lose your wallet at the casino? Then you struggle to make the 11AM shuttle bus and somehow miraculously make your tee time and all looks well? BUT THEN YOU START vomiting on every tee box and also in several bunkers on the course? So you forfeit your match on the fourth hole and head to the clubhouse to rest, only to later be found butt naked in the fetal position in the locker room showers? HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?

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Red squad started Sunday Singles with a forfeit from their very own Max Malecki to Corey Marks, the only in Cave Cup history, an act that nearly cost him his Cup Card. Shen and Chex came out roaring with early wins over PHouli and STrues, respectively, putting Red in the drivers seat. Red’s lead now extended to 7.5-5.5. A seismic shift in the narrative proceeded to unfold, rewriting the rules of what was deemed possible. Black went on to take 6.5 of the final 7 points to win their 3rd Cave Cup in a row- the first three peat in Cup history!

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The initial Black Squad celebration spilled into the local pool hall, where one Caver noted “This is the closest we’ve ever come to The Cave itself- you can practically feel the smoke in the air.” The revelry reached its zenith at the casino, which turned into quite the scene as ~20 grown men squeezed into a hotel room for after hours. Picture loud beats, a rap symphony, and a room that certainly violated several noise ordinances. One unsuspecting Caver was hit with a morning surprise as he was stopped by a neighboring elderly woman in the hotel lobby on Monday morning- she was in search of “whichever one of you calls himself Peter Piper”. It was Hoosier Hospitality in all its glory- a salute to The Night Rap Stood Still.

 

As everyone filed out one by one from the hotel’s colonial front porch in the pouring rain, Black spirits were at an all-time high and initial votes were being lobbied for next year’s captain. Red already knew they had the man for the job.